Queen Bitch
by evil-pink-robot
Summary: Our beloved boys grow lady parts over night, and embark on an adventure of tricksters, musical numbers, lingerie, drunk karaoke, beer, bar brawls, and tampons. Who would have though Dean would look so hot as a flapper? And does Sam really need all of that fancy shampoo? Warnings: Language, graphic description of menstruation. Enjoy my dearies! I'll update once a week! ;)


**I love supernatural, but I feel that Sam and Dean underestimate the women sometimes, so I'm writing a genderswap fic, where they see what it's like to be on the other side of the pick-up line, or antagonistic comments, and also just go through comical hi-jinks attempting to get used to their new girl-ness. Reviews make my day dearies! Btw, I still refer to them as boys throughout the fic, because they still are, really.**

_She's so swishy in her satin and tat, __In her frock coat and bibberty-bobberty hat, Oh god I could do better then that_

_She's an old time ambassador, of sweet talking, night walking games_

_- _David Bowie

Sam woke up to a woman staring at him from his bed side wearing a pair of boxers. _Only _a pair of boxers. She was gawking at him with a panicked and EXTREMELY pissed off expression, when she finally choked out,

"Dude. I need a fucking beer." Sam looked at the woman confused.

"Uuh..did Dean bring you.." Then he realized that was _not_ his voice. Sam rushed to the bathroom. He came back a second later and screamed. Dean replied with a high-pitched,

"WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GONNA DO SAM!?" Sam simply screamed again.

They then proceeded to curse a lot, look in the mirror for long amounts of time, and drink copious amounts of alcohol.

_Time later_

"This is death, this is what this is! I can't handle boobs Sam! Not when they're attached to me!It's too much boob! And I'm short! FUCKING SHORT!" Dean threw his third crushed beer can at the wall opposite to him.

"You were always short!" Sam called into the other room at his brother. Sam was still in the bathroom running his hands through the hair, that went all the way down to his thighs. "It's so long dean...so much hair...so many opportunities..." Sam heard his brother curse loudly again, and he finally came to his senses, and stopped playing with his long, brown, beautiful, braidable, hair. No matter what the gender, they still had a case to work on. But first, there was a worse hell to face then a female Dean Winchester. They had to go shopping for some clothes that actually fit. Sam walked into the other room with determination, "Alright Dean, first, we're going to Target, because we need to get some stuff. Next, we're going to finish our case, then, we're going to find the son of a bitch who did this to us and beat his ass."

"Right after this beer.." Dean groaned.

_At the store_

Dean had stopped panicking, and actually started to like his boobs. He had even named them. The left one was Ziggy, in honor of his in the closet love for David Bowie, and the other, Dean named Boob.

But now they faced a new feat, shopping for clothes that actually fit well enough, so they could fight the forces of evil without tripping over their own pants.

They both stood outside the store, Dean slouching, at a height of 5 foot 6, and drowning in his clothes. He resembled his male self remarkably. He had the same hair, if a bit longer and messier, and a splatter of freckles across his nose. He had the same huge, green, princess eyes, and the same voice except well...female, plus he shrank seven inches. He was skinny, rectangular shaped, and had some bad-ass legs.

Sam stood awkwardly, at a height of six-foot, with an angular face, the same puppy dog eyes, and a small mouth. Plus, he was also as curvy as hell! Seriously, **boom! **Fwwweeeeww, **BOOM!**

Either way, they were beautiful.

They sighed simultaneously, and clunked into the store in their oversized boots.

Shoes were definitely the first thing on the list, the boots they were wearing were destroying their feet. Sam went straight to the guys section. He was going to avoid the girl section like it was full giant clowns with claws. He found a pair of cheap, brown, pleather, boots pretty easily.

Dean had abandoned his oversized man-boots 4 aisles ago, padding around the store barefoot. He ducked into the girls section and looked back and forth. The coast was clear. He plucked a pair of glittery black heels off the rack and spent 3 minutes trying to strap the things on.

"Always wanted to try these..." he whispered to himself before thrusting himself upwards using the counter. "Huh, this ain't so hard. Hm." he grunted, proud of himself. He let go of the shoe rack to attempt strutting, and fell on his face. "Bad idea. BAD idea. God I hate being a woman..." He groaned from the linoleum floor.

"Miss? Miss, are you alright?" a lady in a uniform asked, more annoyed then concerned. Dean lifted an upraised thumb from the floor, "Peachy."

Sam heard a crash and a groan from the shoe aisle and rushed over to see if it was Dean.

"Dude, seriously?" Sam said to his stiletto wearing brother, wearing his bitch-face in all it's shining glory.

"Bitch."

"Jerk."

They entered the woman's clothing section like they we're entering the equivalent of hell. Which it might as well be.

"I still don't get why we can't wear guys clothes..." Dean complained.

"Dude, you'll _drown_ in guy's clothes." They both sighed before stepping into the unknown land of fake pockets and satin.

The Winchesters were relieved , to find a whole table covered with regular t-shirts. They rushed over to it. Dean picked out two small ones, one green and one black. Sam picked out two large blue ones. Then Dean eyed a slinky, black, flapper dress, and had an incredibly strong urge to try it on. When Sam wasn't looking he threw it under the shirts in the cart.

They got some simple jeans in multiple sizes to try, and then the brothers headed to the dreaded end of the shopping trip, the '_Intimate Aparrel' _section. In other words, Bras. In other words death. That was Sam's perspective on it anyways, he was generally pretty uncomfortable around that stuff. Bras, girls underwear, sex, _girls._

They got there and Sam was immediately very confused, and uncomfortable. And completely red. Dean however, was in a wonderland. Striped ones, polka dots, red ones,and blue ones! He let out a very Dean-esque, giggle and dived into the aisle. Sam just stood there, briefly looking at sizes, and could only get out, "Uuh...hum...lacey...I feel like a pervert." Dean came out of the aisle with five bras and a grin on his face.

"Dude, I think you have a fetish." Sam said with amusement.

Dean turned back towards the mirror. The dress was too big on him, but Dean couldn't tell the difference. He did a model pose that somewhat resembled a lunge, when Sam knocked on the door,

"Come on man, we've gotta go!" Dean jumped, embarrassed, even though Sam didn't see him.

"Ok, yeah...Be out in a second!"


End file.
